Why Doesn't Hollywood Understand Online Dating Yet? ? Flavorwire

In the movies, love often takes the form of correspondence. The 1940 film?The Shop Around the Corner finds quarrelsome colleagues Margaret Sullavan and James Stewart unknowingly exchanging love letters. Fifty-eight years later, in You?ve Got Mail, Nora Ephron?s?1998 revamp of the earlier classic, Meg Ryan?s Kathleen Kelly?(screen name: ?Shopgirl?) and Tom Hanks? Joe Fox (?NY152?) fire up their modems to ping e-mails at each other. In Ephron?s Sleepless in Seattle (1993), Ryan and Hanks find each other over the radio, leading to a Valentine?s Day meet-cute atop the Empire State Building, a scene that resolved one of cinema?s greatest missed connections in?An Affair to Remember (1957).

All of these films would inevitably play out differently in today?s age of online dating and social media. There?s little left to imagine past the detailed dating site profile and array of accompanying pictures. Elsewhere, the Internet?s rife with people posting, tweeting, and live-blogging their lives. Like Drew Barrymore?s technology-conscious character in?He?s Just Not That Into You (2009), rejected by several men over as many media, romantic comedies are still adjusting to the vicissitudes of virtual romance, and thus often proliferate misguided depictions of online dating. Recent films tend to romanticize, make light of, or expose online dating ??but none really convey its reality.

Mostly, movies mock online dating, like the comedies?Sex Drive (2008),?Eurotrip (2004),?Napoleon Dynamite (2004), and?LOL (2012). In trashy romance romp Sex Drive, an online relationship compels dweeby high school virgin Ian to make an erection-led journey across the nation to meet his dream girl, ?Ms. Tasty? ? but when they meet in person, she takes off with her boyfriend in Ian?s car. And in the dud rom-com?LOL, where relationships are predominately developed over social media and instant messaging,?online dating enables the character of Miley Cyrus? best friend to mistakenly engage in simulated cyber sex with the school nerd.

An OKCupid user in his 20s described the representation of online dating in Napoleon Dynamite ?as the refuse of desperate neckbeards and sexual predators masquerading as someone else,? yet what he values most about online dating is its transparency. ?I like the fact that your intention is unambiguous,? he said. Since ?you?re on a dating site? if someone speaks to you it means they don?t just think you?re friend material.? By poking fun at online dating, movies may, as a former online dater who met her fianc? on Zoosk told me, ?show the funny side to online dating? ? which can often have its own peculiar sense of humor ? but most ultimately fail to capture the experience accurately.

Miley Cyrus in LOL (2012)

Movies that take online dating seriously aren?t any better. While thrillers like Hard Candy?(2005) and?Trust (2010) crack down on pedophiles using dating sites to groom young girls, they tend to overstate the risks of these services. Various ?statistics? sites will inform you that one in ten sex offenders use online dating to snare victims ??but this isn?t a hard figure, and even if it were, it?s nothing compared to the sheer number of people dating online. A Psychological Science study references a report that found nearly 25 million unique online daters in April 2011. These films also don?t mention the precautions taken by Match.com ??which now screens for sex offenders ? and other dating sites cautious of illicit users.

The Schulman brothers? documentary film Catfish (2010) and its subsequent MTV reality series also revolve around revealing fraudulent online daters ? not criminals, but rather those who have created fake identities, often for deeply psychological reasons. But the TV series mainly glosses over the psychological complexities of its scammers, and since it aims to omit daters honest about their identity, its focus is narrow. The show is also about daters who have established long-term relationships exclusively online, something most would be wary of. Sam Yagan, co-founder and CEO of OKCupid ? which has 3.5 million active users ? is skeptical of the veracity of shows like Catfish. ?Most television shows get ratings by appealing to people[?s] voyeuristic tendencies, hyping up dysfunction,? he said.

Nev Schulman and ?Megan Faccio? in Catfish (2010)

On the other end of the spectrum are movies that romanticize online dating ? like Must Love Dogs (2005),?Because I Said So (2007), and?You?ve Got Mail???but these are often as problematic, and set impractical expectations for online daters. For Brooklyn-based writers and You?ve Got Mail superfans Lindsey Weber and Bobby Finger, the film plays a crucial part in society?s acceptance of online dating, and as Weber argues in the pair?s collaborative discussion piece on?HowAboutWe.com, Ephron ?really helped usher in [the] online dating revolution? with?You?ve Gone Mail, making the phenomenon of online dating ?socially acceptable? ? and even glamorous.

?Everything is obviously exaggerated in Hollywood,? Shannon Smith, Advertising and PR Coordinator at dating site PlentyOfFish.com,?told me. ?If it wasn?t, movies wouldn?t be very exciting! That said, popular culture will gravitate towards the more sensationalized stories over the day-to-day lives of the millions of POF users,? and other virtual daters ?creating great experiences? in real life. By offering the ultimate online dating success story, You?ve Got Mail neglects to show the dating mishaps that usually precede meeting the right person. Virtually speaking, ?Shopgirl? and ?NY152? meet almost effortlessly, and don?t date other people online. In reality, few of the daters I?ve spoken to who are now in committed relationships that began on the Internet actually met their partners soon after they began online dating. A former online dater, now married to a man she met online, told me that though she loves You?ve Got Mail, it ?portrays [online dating] as a comfortable, fluffy experience ??which it isn?t.? Before she found her husband, she discovered that ?some men are on there? to sleep with as many women as possible and there are plenty with emotional problems too (and stinky breath)!?

Far from reality, the appeal of online dating in movies like You?ve Got Mail comes with the thrill of the virtual chase, and the romantic possibility that rests in the unopened envelope or email. ?It?s more the search than the sustaining,? Weber said.?According to Dr. Helen Fisher, biological anthropologist and Chief Scientific Advisor to Chemistry.com, a subsidiary of Match.com, what we?re seeking in that envelope isn?t merely a spouse, but a companion. A hundred years ago, Fisher said, when marriage was more ?about children and a place in the community,? it wasn?t necessary to have the same interests. But ?we?re turning inward now. We want a companion,? she said.

Tom Hanks and Meg Ryan in You?ve Got Mail (1998)

As Finger points out,?films like You?ve Got Mail,?Sleepless in Seattle, and?The Shop Around the Corner share a love of ?what?s spoken and written? ??they?re ?about people falling in love with people?s words.? In each, the search for a partner hinges on ?a matching of wit and banter.? But in my experience of online dating (and, as far as I can tell, many others?), a thoughtfully composed, engaging message seldom lands in my inbox; instead, I usually find monosyllabic messages and thoughtless one-liners ??a ?Hey, whatsup?? or even a ?dang cutie, why so far away?? When I asked Finger if his own online dating in any way lived up to the dream of his favorite movie, he answered with a curt, ?No,? and a laugh. ?Both of us have online dated and both of us didn?t meet our NY152s,? Weber added, with a chuckle.

Although it was a breakthrough for online dating in cinema, You?ve Got Mail is, by now, remarkably outdated. ?Shopgirl? and ?NY152? meet in a chat room ??not a dating site ??and without the aid of the now-ubiquitous profile picture. Though You?ve Got Mail?remains the most identifiable, and adored, film about virtual romance, online dating culture has changed extraordinarily in the 15 years since its release. Weber reasons that the ?more accessible the technology that supports online dating becomes,? the more changes we?ll see in ?the way we interact with people.? Meanwhile, Smith prompts us to ?look at the online dating industry even two years ago, when the landscape was completely different. The industry is constantly [becoming] more sophisticated, shifting towards mobile-based services? with the development of? Android and iPhone apps,? she said.

Though, as Yagan said, the ?stigma against online dating has eroded tremendously,? there?s still an element of embarrassment. A former online dater in her 40s confessed, ?You can?t help feeling a little embarrassed to admit that was how you met your partner.? Another online dater in her 20s, using?Guardian?Soulmates, corroborates this view. ?I?d be slightly embarrassed to tell someone? I was online dating,? she said, adding that there?s ?an air of desperation about it, and there used to be a feeling that sad losers use it ??but I think this is less the case now.?

The common thread that ties together each flavor of big-screen misunderstanding of online dating is that it?s almost always rendered as a shameful experience. In Because I Said So, when Mandy Moore?s character discovers that her beau?s interest in her started online, she promptly ends the relationship. Diane Lane?s character in Must Love Dogs ??yes, it?s as terrible as its title ??is uncomfortable with ?advertising? herself online, and on her first date with John Cusack, both are self-conscious about how they met. The fact that many real-life online daters share their fictional counterparts? shame may be the most tangible reflection of Hollywood?s impact on the culture of online dating. In spotlighting this uncertainty above all else, they reinforce it more often than they obliterate it.

Margaret Sullavan and James Stewart in The Shop Around the Corner (1940)

And that?s when Hollywood chooses to portray online dating at all. As a Match.com study from 2012 shows, a ?historically unprecedented number of single Americans are now turning to the Internet to find love.? Of the 5,481 US singles and 1,095 married people between 21 and 65+ that participated, a third of the singles had dated someone they met online, while more singles (20%) met their most recent first date online than in a bar (7%). Considering its increasing prevalence, it?s surprising that there are still so few online dating romances on film. ?Lots of people date online, yet we haven?t seen that storyline in many mainstream films,? said Ariana Anthony, Media Strategist at dating site HowAboutWe.com. ?But I think that?ll change in the near future, as more and more people continue to meet online.? If it doesn?t, online dating will continue to be the modern-day meet-cute that the movies ? holding out in vain for more traditional romance ? are missing out on.

Source: http://flavorwire.com/369885/why-doesnt-hollywood-understand-online-dating-yet

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Valentines Day Ideas: DIY Heart Confetti And Strawberry Martini ...

With Valentine?s Day only a few days away, it is crunch time to come up with romantic Valentines Day ideas, but sweat not, try making heart confetti and a Strawberry Martini!? Whether you will be spending the evening with girlfriends or your significant other, you?ll find this V-Day inspired DIY heart confetti and easy-to-make Strawberry Martini very cute and tasty.? As an added Valentines Day idea, distinguish the Strawberry Martini for the lady with a red straw and for the man with a Mr. mustache.

Before heading out for your evening plans, whip up our special 3-ingredient Valentine?s Day Strawberry Martini.? Then, hurry up and make your own heart confetti to decorate the tabletop.? My beau and I will definitely be sipping on 1 or 6 of these bad girls at home, decorated with my special heart confetti, made by me!? If you?re still looking for Valentines Day ideas or gifts for your man, see the ultimate Valentine?s Day men?s gift guide here. If you are still looking for a gift for her for Valentine?s Day, see here, but you better order today!

Valentines Day Ideas ? Strawberry Martini decorated with Heart Confetti

Strawberry Martini Recipe:

1 ? oz. Vodka

1 packet of Wild Strawberry Crystal Light

Splash of Sprite

Extra: For a little more fiz, add crushed jolly ranchers & top off with champagne

*The ingredient amount can be changed to your liking.

Heart Confetti DIY:

What you?ll need: paint samples (free from any major home improvement store) and a heart-shaped hole puncher (mine is Martha Stewart brand, found at Michaels. Here is a similar one.)

Punch the paint sample and watch your hearts appear. Yes, it?s really that simple and yes, it?s really that cute.

Punch heart confetti out of paint sample strips with heart puncher

Make the confetti into a coaster shape for the martini glass and place a straw in it for the lady.

Place a mustache accessory on the guy?s glass to distinguish from yours.

Happy Valentine?s Day! xoxxo

Source: http://nubry.com/2013/02/valentines-day-ideas-diy-heart-confetti-and-strawberry-martini/

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Could the next pope hail from Africa or Asia?

By Stefano Esposito ?and Anna Heling Staff Reporters February 11, 2013 4:38PM

(FILES) This recent file picture taken on February 6, 2013 at the Paul VI hall at the Vatican shows Pope Benedict XVI arriving for the weekly general audience. The Vatican spokesman announced that Pope says he will resign on February 28. AFP PHOTO / FILES / VINCENZO PINTOVINCENZO PINTO/AFP/Getty Images

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Updated: February 12, 2013 2:16AM

The top candidates for the next pope must include black and brown faces ? and come from countries in the developing world, where the Catholic Church is booming, according to the conventional wisdom.

But like the Vatican?s centuries-old and cloistered election process itself, the matter is infinitely more complicated, say several Chicago-area experts.

?And that?s why Catholics believe the Holy Spirit will guide [the cardinals],? said Peter Casarella, director of the Center for World Catholicism and Intercultural Theology at DePaul University. ?It?s hard. It?s not an easy job.?

The tricky mission awaiting the College of Cardinals when it convenes in Rome to elect a new pontiff is to choose one who appeals both to the growing masses in Africa, Latin America and Asia, as well as to some Western followers who question the relevancy of their faith, experts say. So who?s in the running?

?It?s probably too early to do a lot of handicapping ? it?s too early to start sizing up the horse race,? said Ralph Keen, a professor of Catholic studies and history at UIC. ?There are going to be dark horses.?

Nonetheless, Cardinal Peter Turkson of Ghana and Cardinal Luis Antonio Tagle of Manila in the Philippines are on many shortlists.

?I think it?s Turkson,? predicted Michael Murphy, director of Loyola University?s Catholic Studies program. ?Turkson is attractive because [of] his job right now . . . [on]the Pontifical Council for Justice and Peace. Those types of themes in the church and having that type of expertise in this day and age are going to be very attractive. I think the church is ready for an African pope.?

Casarella says he understands why Tagle could be the next pope.

?I wouldn?t say he?s my front-runner ? I don?t have a front-runner,? Casarella said. ?He represents one of the largest dioceses in the world. He?s very charismatic. He blogs and tweets. . . . But he also deals with the question of the renewal of faith and the need to keep a strong faith.?

Though few are absolutely ruling out the possibility of the election of the first American pope, it appears unlikely it would be Cardinal Francis George.

?Given the current pope?s age and his reason for stepping down, they will be looking for someone younger and more vigorous. . . .? Keen said.

Contributing: Mitch Dudek

Source: http://www.suntimes.com/news/18162183-418/could-the-next-pope-hail-from-africa-or-asia.html

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Analysis: Philips turns off TV in turnaround

AMSTERDAM (Reuters) - The Philips name has been synonymous with trusty TV sets and reliable video players; but in the overhaul of this lumbering Dutch behemoth over the past two years, both have been ditched.

Nothing, it seems, is sacred in Chief Executive Frans van Houten's makeover of Philips to focus on the healthcare, lifestyle and energy needs of ageing and increasingly prosperous consumers - whether high-margin electric toothbrushes and shavers, street lighting or hospital equipment.

To make Philips more lean and nimble has taken a rigorous monitoring of its entire portfolio of products and markets combined with a ruthless willingness to jettison weaklings and poor performers such as the home entertainment businesses, and to concentrate instead on higher-margin market leaders.

Van Houten picked new managers at each of the company's three core businesses - consumer lifestyle, healthcare and lighting - and is shaking up a stodgy culture in a firm that once led in R&D but sometimes fell short in the marketplace.

The company which first experimented with televisions and radios later lost out in the videotape wars of the 1970s and 1980s and did not react quickly enough when consumers shifted online for their music and other entertainment.

Van Houten has also cut jobs and overheads, including office space and IT systems, scaled back inventory to free up cash flow, and launched a 2 billion euro share buyback.

The strategy has started to pay off. The divestments and four consecutive quarters of better-than-expected results have pushed the stock to its highest level since March 2011, just before Van Houten officially took over as CEO, as Philips appears to be on track to achieve its 2013 targets.

"Exiting lifestyle entertainment for me is the real mark, these guys invented a lot of these consumer electronics we know, that is part of the Philips legacy," said Scott Cobb, principal at Southeastern Asset Management which is Philips' biggest shareholder with about 6.5 percent of the stock.

"For them to say 'this is a business that is marginally profitable, struggling with declining revenue and does not have scale to compete' sends a massively strong signal that this company and its management are not the old Philips."

Cobb said the 2 billion euro share buyback was also a strong buy signal because it showed the management was confident of delivering cost savings and pushing through change.

There is plenty of room for further improvement.

By some measures, such as the ratio of enterprise value (EV) to earnings before interest, tax, depreciation and amortisation (EBITDA), Philips looks undervalued against German conglomerate Siemens and General Electric , its rivals in the field of lighting systems and hospital equipment.

Starmine puts the forward 12-month EV/EBITDA for the Dutch firm at 6.8, versus 7.7 for Siemens - and 18.7 for GE, whose figures analysts say are distorted because of its finance activities. Two French firms in the capital goods sector, Schneider Electric and Legrand , trade on multiples of 9.1 and 9.5 respectively.

Philips is also cheaper than two small European firms which compete purely in the home appliances sector. SEB of France, which owns the Moulinex brand, and De'Longhi of Italy, are valued at multiples of 7.2 and 7.9 respectively.

Based on other ratios such as price/book value, and EV/revenue, Philips ranks at the lower end of the group's range.

And with roughly one third of Philips' units still underperforming and in need of turnaround, according to Van Houten, there should be further upside for investors.

"There is much more potential to unlock. We need to stay at this for five years," Van Houten said, just two years into the turnaround, adding that too many companies "stop too early" when it comes to shaking up their business.

RED-AMBER-GREEN

Van Houten became chief executive in April 2011, but during his months as CEO-in-waiting, he took a whirlwind tour of what was soon to become his global empire.

Stunned by the sheer number of different products available in a myriad of different markets, he realised the group had proliferated and had little inkling of which of these combinations made or lost money.

He worked closely with his chief financial officer, Ron Wirahadiraksa, and with chief strategist Jim Andrew, a former Boston Consulting Group partner who had worked in India and Singapore, to come up with his plan.

Using what he describes as a "dashboard" - a computer model that monitors hundreds of combinations of products and the markets where they are sold - he can keep track of profits, sales, market share and supply chain efficiency for anything from medical equipment in Malaysia to salad dicers in Russia.

Each business and market combination appears in red, green or amber, according to performance, and is further scrutinised for ways to squeeze more value out of it.

Recognising that Philips could no longer compete with low-cost Asian manufacturers such as Samsung Electronics and LG Electronics when it came to televisions and audiovisual equipment, Van Houten cut them loose.

The model isn't foolproof. High-growth countries are set high targets, but for example if growth hits 28 percent, just short of a 30 percent target, the targets may have to be eased slightly, Van Houten says.

The consumer division's underlying margin for earnings before interest, taxes and amortisation has already improved to 11.7 percent in the fourth quarter from 8.3 percent a year ago. With the sale of the low-margin audiovisual business, it should increase further, helped by its leading position in electric shavers and toothbrushes.

Overall, the consumer lifestyle division now accounts for a far lower percentage of group sales - 26 percent in the fourth quarter, down from 36 percent two years ago - while healthcare has climbed to about 41 percent of group sales, up from about 36 percent in the same period.

With home entertainment out of the way, the consumer division will focus on appliances such as coffee-makers, electric shavers, and "airfryers" which cook low-fat food.

Philips signed up Taiwanese actor and model Godfrey Gao to endorse its electric shavers in China, helping it to sell more than 10 million last year as it pushed into second- and third-tier Chinese cities.

In Russia, the company has adapted its salad-choppers to produce cubes because that is how Russians like their vegetables - and the dicers have proved a hit, Van Houten said.

Historically, Philips had tied its fortunes to the developed markets of North America and Europe.

It was slow to exploit the rapid rise of emerging markets where billions of consumers craved a better lifestyle and higher standards of healthcare, and increasingly had the money to pay for it.

That's changing, if slowly. The share of sales derived from growth economies such as Brazil, Russia, India and China, as well as Africa and the Middle East, inched up to 35 percent in the fourth quarter, from 33 percent of the total two years ago, and is set to rise further, Van Houten said.

(Additional reporting by Sinead Cruise in London; Editing by Peter Graff)

Source: http://news.yahoo.com/analysis-philips-turns-off-tv-turnaround-070350237--sector.html

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Florida honors top horses and horsemen

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Source: xwebapp.ustrotting.com --- Monday, February 11, 2013
A lively crowd of 220 horsemen and women, family and friends, came out to celebrate the 22nd annual Hall of Fame Awards dinner on Sunday (Feb. 10), hosted by the Florida Chapter of the United States Harness Writers Association at the Deerfield Beach Doubletree Hilton. ...

Source: http://xwebapp.ustrotting.com/absolutenm/templates/?z=1&a=52259

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Mass. gas prices jump another 9 cents per gallon

BOSTON (AP) -- The cost of a gallon of gas in Massachusetts has leapt another nine cents in the past week, and has now risen a quarter in a month.

AAA Southern New England reports Monday that self-serve, regular is up to an average of $3.68 per gallon.

That's a dime higher than the national average and 12 cents more than at the same time last year.

AAA found self-serve, regular selling as low as $3.56 per gallon and as high as $3.83.

Source: http://news.yahoo.com/mass-gas-prices-jump-another-164116439.html

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Middlebury could build golf course at private development

Middlebury could build golf course at private development

BY MATTHEW O'ROURKE REPUBLICAN-AMERICAN

MIDDLEBURY -- Don't drop that 9-iron and don't put away your putter just yet.

A scrapped plan for a golf course at the Ridgewood at Middlebury complex may yet return, but under the town's control.

First Selectman Edward B. St. John said that the proposal for a golf course at the residential development might make sense for the town in the future.

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Source: http://www.rep-am.com/news/local/703307.txt

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